just...

i woke early tonight, and fed quickly before my brain realized what my blood craved. i have not fed much as of late... i have not done much in the way of taking care of myself... what is the point, i will be and continue to be and as far as i know there is no end. only blood and brain and time... forever time. i spend more time studying music than anything else in this world... but even that only keeps me semi-occupied. my blood fixates on his pulse... i hear the heart beat every night, he is close but out of reach and he will know if i come to quickly. i creep closer each night praying i go undetected by him, but more so by the rogue vamp in the corner lot listening to me. he is unaware that i know he is there... but i know he watches me watch the other. blood and brain confused with hunger and passion... a need unfulfilled... a lust ever growing. my veins explode with need of him, but he stays clear. i wonder how much he reads me, how much he knows... how much he wants himself. does he hear me creep below his window? or is he fixated on the rogue as well. the rogue is a threat to my plan, he may interfere interlust... he is only an obstacle to my goal... agony.