i don't understand...

i have lost sense of time and lost sense of him... i saw him in a waking dream, but he did not recognize me... when i lay in my chambers i do not feel rest... my eyes remain fixed on the inner linings, and rest does not come... i found Torch today, i mean REALLY found the guy... we used to run together... and we were good together... he got out early before anything real serious could happen.... but today i really felt he's here now... every now and then one of us drifts a bit... but always comes back, even if harsh words ignited... i never really knew what happened... i don't know how we got so far gone... we always made sure the other was good though... late night long distance, and the internet is a wonderful tool... but he never really indulged in who he was... not until now... i'm happy that Torch has come back... but the elders are restless and the young one is slipping... i don't know how this can possibly work... not really, not again... something's gotta give... i've even lost the taste for nourishment and what am i if i am not a blood drinker??? i hear the wind rushing through me... where will i go from here?